Insurance open season

Someone recently asked me what I think about the new healthcare law and if we have seen any benefits from it yet. My response:


We have already seen some of the "benefits" of O.care. The insurance my hubby’s work offers changed last year to “come into compliance with the new healthcare laws”. Our premiums went up, benefits went down, and they added co-insurance and a deductible that we have to pay along with our normal co-pay. We haven't been able to go to the doc all year for anything other than normal/sick check-ups. J is suppose to see a specialist every year and this year they wanted him to see 2 but at over $350 a pop we just can’t afford it. Next year I don’t have an option- I will have to take him…not sure where we are going to get the money to pay for it though.

Previously I was very happy with our insurance. They covered most everything with us just paying co-pays…and our insurance is accepted most anywhere, so I didn’t need to worry when we traveled or if we were to move. (Unlike in previous years when his work had switched insurance companies and we had to drive 45 minutes to see an “in-network” doc). As of now, I am convinced we haven’t seen the end of the rise in our out-of-pocket expenses, including premiums.

I do like some of the regulations in the law (such as not discriminating against people with “pre-existing” conditions). But it doesn’t help if docs are afraid to officially diagnose anything because they don’t know what is going to happen with the law.

On a side note: It is that insurance “open enrollment” time of year. From the little information the company gave us, it appears the policy didn’t change this year…not good news but at least it didn’t get worse. I was hoping they would change to more of a compromise between the previous year’s insurance to this year’s- so we wouldn’t have to pay so much out of pocket. So now I have to find the over $600 to pay for J’s specialist visits this coming year.

Books and Bullying

So we have had issues with bullying in public school and with “friends” in the past. This hasn’t been a huge problem lately though- Thank goodness!


I came across a book this past week. I read it in 2 days- it was that good! It is The Year of Learning Dangerously by Quinn Cummings. I didn’t agree with everything she said but I love that the author was willing to admit her own shortcomings in her own education and how she felt overwhelmed at times and doubted that she was doing the best for her child by homeschooling her. This is an issue that all homeschool parents have at some point- Am I doing what is best for my child? Anyways- one of the parts that stuck out to me (so much so that I wrote it down!) was her summary on bullying. She is talking about all the questions someone (who she refers to as the interrogator) asks when they find out you homeschool. Here is the quote that I wrote down from pg 24: “‘But,’ the Interrogator might ask, ‘how will these kids learn to deal with bullies and jerks?’ As luck would have it, there are bullies at the Scout meetings, in the mall, on the playground and even at family reunions. There are jerks everywhere you look. Children who homeschool do get to negotiate with socially toxic people. What they don’t get to do is grimly endure an entire year sitting two feet from a person who makes their lives miserable on a regular and predictable basis. It’s not unreasonable to hope that by the time homeschooled children enter the world as adults, they will have acquired the self-possession required to walk away from someone who is belittling them and been spared the recurring nightmares of being trapped in the locker room with the bully.”

This is SO true! I had tried to figure a way to sum up the answer to this question, particularly since we have experienced bullying in various place and not just the public school. I absolutely love this part: “What they don’t get to do is grimly endure an entire year sitting two feet from a person who makes their lives miserable on a regular and predictable basis.” I like that particular part because bullying is one of the reasons I pulled my 2nd son out of public school. Yes he still gets bullied occasionally by “friends” but it is not a consistent thing. He isn’t coming home from everything we do crying that no one likes him, so-so was mean to him, etc. Instead of coming off the bus every other day crying and upset I now have a child who gets upset only occasionally about another child bullying him- maybe once a quarter, instead of every day. And because of the homeschooling community that we are in if he tells me about it when it happens I know I can always make it into a teaching lesson with all the kids involved…and the parents won’t be upset that I “corrected” their child! LOL

Updates

We left the group I was telling you about in the last blog and found another that is very accepting. They are so nice! They keep asking us our opinion on things…and they appreciate and respect what we do say.




I have to say I HATE that my oldest is going to public school! I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But he brings nothing home…literally no homework (except spelling & vocab). All their work is done in class. I have no clue what he is learning. They don’t have textbooks that they are allowed to bring home. They do have copy papers in their binders that they bring home. They do not require assignment books. There is no communication from the teachers to the parents at all. If you have an unorganized child this is setting them up to fail. I finally went in to the school and talked to the teacher in the class he seemed to be having a problem in (low grades for him). Come to find out the reasons he wasn’t doing well was because he was rushing through his work, sloppy writing, incomplete sentences, messy pages, and talking. When she showed me his work I told her I would not have accepted it from him. I would have made him take it back and redo it. She seemed very relieved to have a parent “on her side” (meaning not blaming her) and asked if I could be the parent of a few more of her kids. :-) We worked out a solution to his disorganization problems in her class and she now knows that if she has a problem with him she can just call/email me and I will take care of it. I am happy with the results of our meeting and I actually like her.

What do you do when you feel betrayed?

I have been betrayed by people who were supposedly friends. They have chosen to back stab me and my family. Took everything we have done for them over the last 4 years and threw it away...by going behind our backs to do it. I am so mad and frustrated I don't know what to do. Every time I think about it I get so emotional I just cry.
In the end we will cut our losses and move on but it shouldn't have been this way. We aren't in high school anymore. We are adults. Handle yourselves like adults and be upfront about how you feel. Don't go behind people's backs...So very frustrating. :`-(

Everything should be figured out on Wednesday but either way we are done with this group. We will stay with the organization, just find another group. Why would I stay with this group, even if the majority doesn't agree with the few? Even if the people who are causing the problems step down and no longer are part of the board they would still be there in the group, plotting, hating, turning people against us. It isn't worth it.

The question is how many people within this group will follow us when we leave...there may not be enough left to still be considered a group...

Awesome Friends

I have some awesome friends! If you have read my previous posts then you know my son is gluten-free. This also means that every time he goes anywhere I have to pack food for him. Any event we attend I have to bring food for him. I truly don’t mind as he is my child and it is my responsibility.


So last month our close friend invites us to her child’s birthday party. Of course we are going to attend. So she then asks me where she can buy gluten-free cake, bread, and chips!!! I told her I could bring substitutes but she would hear nothing of it. For the first time since going gluten-free my son attended a birthday party where he didn’t have to bring his own food. This is a HUGE deal to him! He felt so special.

Then this month my other friend (who is sister’s with the above friend) invited us to her child’s birthday party. She made sure my son could eat everything she served and also made him gluten-free cupcakes! For the 2nd time he got to eat everything at a birthday party! He was in heaven. :-)

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE MY KIDS!!! Kelly & Shelly you are awesome! A girl couldn't ask for better, more caring friends.

The school year has begun!!...and with it some changes

A new school year!! This year brings some changes to our house.


We have decided to allow our oldest to attend public school. We made this decision for many reasons but the main three were: 1. In our school district 8th grade is in our high school. 2. Our local Parks & Rec doesn’t offer hardly any sports for kids who turn 14 yrs old. & 3. I want him to enroll in dual enrollment (the kids get college credits for high school classes thus starting their college career early).

“Meet The Teacher” Night was 5-7pm and let me tell you…they lock the doors at exactly 7pm!! I was told we could come anytime with the 2 hrs. I had planned to be there at 5 – 5:30 at the latest. Hubby got home from work late (he wanted to go too) so we didn’t get there till 6pm. Between teachers not being in their class, where they are suppose to be so we can meet them, and the school telling teachers to lock their doors and leave at exactly 7pm (yes they said this over the loudspeaker) we didn’t get to meet every one of his teachers. It was very frustrating. When my kids were in elementary school they had the same times but the school was open till you got done, not on lock-down right at 7. Literally at 7pm the teachers locked their doors, the lights were being turned out, and teachers and administrators were leaving.

Anyways I liked one of his teachers and told people about her. As soon as I did I started receiving very bad reviews about her last 5 yrs with the high school. It was everything from “she doesn’t teach instead she befriends them and has the girls doing her hair during class time” to “she loses homework and blames it on the child” to “if she finds out that your child ‘got her in trouble’ then she bullies them by punishing the whole class and naming your child as the reason”. I tried to get his scheduled changed but they wouldn’t do anything…So needless to say I am keeping my eye on her. I didn’t put him back into public school for him to have a teacher who doesn’t teach and worse bullies the kids!! I will be on first name basis with that school. They will know my car when I pull up outside and will run and hide! LOL I am somewhat serious though. I will not have my child bullied by a teacher and not be taught anything. He had enough of that (the not learning anything) in elementary school.

The high school has an unusual schedule, at least to me. They have an A/B schedule but it isn’t just A/B every other day…there is also A/B every nine weeks or half year. My biggest complaint is that they do not have math all year. It is a half year class, meaning they have it every day for half the year. The other half year is a foreign language. Why couldn’t they have foreign language and math every other day all year? It would help with their retention. They have English every day all year. They have Science & History every other day all year. Then they have one class that is all year every other day and for the other day it changes every nine weeks. They don’t have a study hall…instead they have a half hour advisory period after lunch. In advisory period they can do their homework, go see teachers about make-up work if they missed days, or see teachers for work they didn’t understand.

So school started last week. He was very excited but nervous. His first ½ week (they start on Wed) went well. He hasn’t had any homework at all, which he is loving. I have been reviewing his work every day but it isn’t like he brings books home. I am not even sure if they have a book for every child. He does bring home copied papers so I can see what they are talking about in class though.

I am hopeful for the year but at the same time I am apprehensive. I have a vision in my head of me crashing through the doors and yelling at people. LOL Hopefully it won’t come true. If it does I will be writing about it! After all I am under no illusion that public school is the best system…and I would not hesitate to pull him out and homeschool him again if I feel that is the only way he will get a good education.

Pros/Cons of having no kids around...

Pros and Cons of having the kids gone for a week or two...


Pros:

You can sleep as late as you want or until the dog’s whining to go out wakes you or hubby thinks it is time for you to get up, even though it is the weekend and is raining therefore your plans for the day are cancelled.

You don’t have to do dishes every day (or twice a day).

You don’t have to do laundry every day.

No yelling or fighting …at least not among the kids!.

You can watch whatever you want and not worry about little ears hearing or little eyes seeing inappropriate things.

You can sit around all day and no one will bug you, unless hubby is home.

You can walk around naked or in your underwear and as long as your blinds are closed only you and the dog will know-not that I did this. LOL

You can go shopping and spend hours in the book section without kids screaming that they are bored. I did do this and it was absolute bliss!



Cons:

It is just you... by yourself... all day.

It is just you and unromantic hubby all weekend. (What am I going to do when the kids move out?!)

I am bored. (And no I do not want to clean.)

No Kids! Oh the choices, the oppurtunities, the chances to get out...wait what?

So I get a break…for 2 weeks!! I was excited about it…to begin with. Now, a week into it, I am not so sure. Believe me – I am glad to get a break from the kids. I hope they are having fun at their grandparents. I do miss them but again I needed this break.



I had all these plans to do while the kids are done- a whole list. Have I done anything major on that list? No. I really don’t want to. I want to relax and sleep and not have to clean. I guess the absence of kids does not make my lack of fondness of cleaning disappear. LOL I did make an attempt today to get some things marked off that list. I still have a lot more to do though.


The other thing I was hoping was that this time without kids would create some romance in our marriage. I am always the one planning everything- every night we ever had without kids was me behind the scenes planning who was going where and then where we were going. I thought without the kids maybe he could be romantic and plan something. I have even given him ideas as to what kind of things I would enjoy, even specific things, like where we could go and where to stay. But all I get in return is we don’t have the money, it’s too expensive, why would I spend the night in a hotel when we have an empty house here, etc. I even told him flowers would work- they aren’t expensive and he hasn’t given me flowers for almost 10 yrs! He thinks flowers are a waste of money.


One of my friends suggested I make it happen. But that’s the point! I don’t want to make it happen. I am tired of planning everything. I want him to plan something!


I don’t think he gets how much I need this. I need him to be romantic, to show he loves me. He does still have a week until the kids get back. I hope I am not disappointed but I have a feeling I am going to be.

Vaccinations and medical issues

For info about vaccinations and all kinds of medical issues check this article out:
http://www.regardingcaroline.com/pubmed

Camp and Gluten-free diets don't mix. :-(

Good News: My ½ week at camp went well, as far as the kids, activities, etc. The kids seemed to have a blast.



Bad News: The cook is an @#$%@^#. I emailed the Monday before camp with specific concerns- such as if they used real eggs, potatoes, etc. and if certain things contained gluten. He NEVER emailed me back! I finally called a higher-up Friday night and left a message. We were to be at camp Sunday afternoon…So I receive an email Saturday morning from the cook. He was obviously pissed off. Here was his response…on SATURDAY MORNING (when we had to leave Sunday to go to camp!!!):


“My suggestion to you is if you are concerned about any food items you can bring your own food as a replacement. The items must be in a clear plastic zip-lock type bag with the child’s name and date of packaging clearly marked on the outside of each bag. We will store the food items in the kitchen for you and have them available for you to prepare at each meal service. A microwave oven and other kitchen equipment will be available for your use. We also have a book with the list of ingredients for the items being served at camp available in the kitchen for review. I hope this helps.”



Ummm HELLOO!!!! The camp is about an hour away but I had been near it 3 times the week before. If I had known there was a book I could have stopped by and checked it. But telling me Sat morning- less than 24 hrs before we have to be there, isn’t going to help me! I also obviously didn’t read it very well because I completely missed the “available for YOU to prepare” part! But more on that later.


So we get there. The camp director volunteers to help haul my cooler to the kitchen. I go in and start unloading it. The cook gets an attitude and says “You have another cooler right?” I was like “umm no. This cooler contains things other than his food items. It is for our camp site. I wasn’t aware I needed to provide a cooler. Everything is marked with his name.” His reply “Fine! I will see if I can find something.” He returns with a clear tote. We store his food where it needs to go and I am about to leave when he says: “you are going to be here 15 minutes early to fix his food, right?” –Remember when I said that I didn’t read the email thoroughly? So this was a shock to me. Literally. -- I was floored.


So I am waiting outside for the camp director, getting really pissed off. While he drives me back to our camp site I decide to confront him. I told him I didn’t realize I would have to fix J’s food. I didn’t have to last year (as I hadn’t been at camp) and that I would need to be there 30 minutes early because I didn’t realize I needed ready-made stuff. I provided the same stuff I did last year, such as pasta for spaghetti and mac &cheese that needed to be cooked. The camp director was like “We are short-handed. He is just asking you to volunteer.” I replied that he didn’t ask me to volunteer he told me to do it. And that last year I didn’t have this problem. I also thought that he was only being like this because I was in camp, where-as last year I wasn't.” He said he would look into a solution and get back to me.


So I fixed J’s dinner that night. Thankfully it wasn’t much- he was able to eat most of what was served. I just needed to heat a g-f roll and provide a cookie for dessert. At dinner the camp director told me that they had figured out a solution and the director of activities would fix J’s food. I thanked him and told him if I was there as J's parent, without any responsibilities, it wouldn’t be an issue but I wasn’t there as J’s parent. I was there in another capacity, one that kept me separated from J most of the day.


So the cook never said anything else to me, although he gave me dirty looks the whole time I was there. And I only had to fix 2 of J’s meals.


Oh and the other thing that ticked me off…they had a white board in their kitchen with a list of allergies on it. So every kid/group that had an allergy should have been on that board; so-so from this group has a peanut allergy, etc. Well J’s name/group wasn’t listed at all!! How are you to know which kid has an allergy if you aren't listing all the allergies?!? Maybe they didn't list him because I provided most of his food but he still should have been listed because he also ate their food. His raw carrot allergy should have at least been listed, especially since I wasn't providing alternatives for that. (Oh and by the way I was right about the salad bar- it was all pre-packaged mix with carrots in it.)


The camp directors told me they hope to keep the cook. I personally hope they don’t but either way they WILL be cooking J’s food next year…come to find out they get Federal Funding…and there is this thing called the Disability Act Law that all groups who get Federal Funding must comply to…Guess who is going to be pressing this issue next year? ME!! ME!! (Hand in the air!)


The thing that really got me in the end is that all the cook needed to do was communicate.
I wasn’t asking them to provide food, just tell me what was in their food. If I read the Act right I could have forced that issue (providing food) as well. But I am not here to add extra financial burden on them. I just want them to cook the food I provide. Is that so hard?

I HATE MENUS!!!

I hate menus!! Literally hate them!
Let me start over- Every summer my boys go to a camp--Which means that I have to go over the menu since J has a gluten and carrot allergy. Do you realize how much stuff is hidden in menus? And it isn’t like I get the same cook every year. Some “cooks” are not really cooks, rather just hired help to cook the food, and they have no clue about allergies. Of course even if there is a “real” cook there that doesn’t mean anything. Last year the “real” cook, who actually knew what gluten was, got fired in the middle of the week because evidently she went crazy-literally. I was told she barricaded herself in the dining building and thought people were coming for her. They think she went off her meds- which isn’t comforting since my kids were there!!

But anyways back to menus. So I am reviewing the menu for this year…and it is full of pre-packed foods- which means more possibility for it to contain wheat/barley! I know it is easier for the cooks to prepare but come-on! The closest they come to home-made meals is a salad-bar…And that probably contains the packaged mixes of lettuce and whatever. They don't even have spaghetti on the menu this year.
I am just hoping that the “cook” I am emailing knows what he is doing. At least I will be at the camp for part of the week to make sure J gets what he is suppose to (and doesn't get what he isn't suppose to).

Really people?!?! Excluding kids based on food allergies.

J is gluten-free due to his reaction to gluten. He does not have celiac but is "sensitive" to gluten. This week I was confronted with a comment that made me very mad. I had asked about the possibility of an organization we are deeply involved in of purchasing a gluten-free (g-f) pizza. The place they were buying pizza from offers g-f pizzas for the same price as non-g-f so I didn't see it as a big deal to ask. The response was: "I do not want to start catering to all dietary needs, that could lead into a big ordeal.". Whether she intended it to or not, her response rubbed me wrong. My son does NOT have a "dietary need" - he has a food allergy!! To me, "dietary need" is not the same as allergy. And if we had an child with a more severe reaction they would HAVE to "cater to their "dietary need".
I responded and included the following: "I understand your position. However, I disagree. J is a member of this organization and it is medically necessary that he does not eat anything with gluten. It is absolutely possible for ANYONE to eat a gluten free pizza but it is impossible for J to consume non-gluten free pizza. To exclude him is unfair and directly telling him that he didn’t matter. He has gotten upset every time the organization has had a food event in which he can’t participate. I apologize- it was not my intent for my request to escalate as much as it seems to. Again I thought it would not be an issue, given where the organization was ordering from and the cost being the same."


I decided to look up the laws for people with food allergies. Here is what I learned:

"At a recent food allergy roundtable in New York City, Mary Jane Marchisotto, Executive Director of the Food Allergy Initiative (FAI) shared the most recent statistics on food allergies, saying that, “Every classroom now has two students with food allergies.” A July 2011 study funded by FAI and published in Pediatrics, found that 15 million Americans and one in every thirteen children now suffer from food allergies – a significant increase from prior data." http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/04/27/virginia-enacts-stock-epinephrine-law-to-help-protect-students-with-allergies/
"A food allergy may be considered a disability under federal laws such as Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)." http://www.foodallergy.org/section/disability



I also called my son's specialist. I never asked for a letter stating his sensitivity to gluten because I didn't think I would need it since we homeschool. I am now requesting that letter.

In the end the organization won't provide g-f pizza for J. While I still think they are being unreasonable, considering there is no added cost or effort on their part, I am fine with it. I will once again provide my son with food, while trying to explain to him that having a food allergy is not an exclusion from participation and that other kids don't think he is weird for not eating "normal" food.. :-(







UPDATE: So we went to our event with our g-f bought pizza. And one of the members of the organization had gone out of his way and purchased gf pretzels and cookies for J. He also gave us money for the gf pizza, saying that we shouldn't have to pay for our own food when it was a organization event. I am not sure if he purchased the items out of his own pocket or if the organization paid for them. I appreciate what he did because it made me feel like someone was on my side. At the same time if it is out of his own pocket it makes me feel bad. He shouldn't have to pay it himself either- it's not his kid. But again I really appreciate it. He even went out of his way to talk to J and show him where the stuff was. He really is a sweetie! :-)

I have this on again/ off again love of writing. When I write I write a lot but then I can go for months without writing- as is obvious in this blog. Sometimes it is just because I am not in the mood but mainly it is because I am so busy I don’t take the time. I need to take the time to write because it helps reduce my stress. :-)




So I recently had a visit from my sis-in-law. She made me realize that I get so busy and stressed out that I forget to show my hubby how much I appreciate his hard work. He gets up at 4:30am to go to work and doesn’t usually get home till 6pm. He is always tired and in a mood when he gets home. So I have started getting up when he does and fixing him some breakfast to take with him. Amazingly it has improved his mood. I think he appreciates the effort. And I have found I actually enjoy doing it for him. I am going to try to continue this along with coming up with some additional ways to spoil him. :-)

Bullying

I recently read the blog post below. I found it interesting. Read her post and then see my comments below.



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You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face

12 FEB 2012

by queenofthecouch (http://viewsfromthecouch.com/2012/02/12/you-didnt-thank-me-for-punching-you-in-the-fac/)



On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:



I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bulls*** is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.



When the f*** was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.



My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little a**h*** and a**h***s are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with a**h***s she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? F*** off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s a**, if necessary. They sure as s*** wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.



I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.



The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.



_____________________________________________________________



I like her main message. I don’t appreciate the language (which is why I bleeped it) but I understand her frustration. As a mom of boys I would hope that if my son did any of the above actions to another girl (or boy), the adult (be it teacher or other parent) would tell me. I don’t want his actions excused! I want to explain to him why it is wrong, teach him how to express himself, and make him apologize to the child.




My middle son, who is 9, would be more apt to “express” himself by teasing the girl and those actions would be appropriate for his maturity level. Notice I did not say that his actions would be right or that I would approve of them- just that they would be age appropriate. If he did do this, it would be a learning/teaching opportunity for us. However if my older son, who is 13, told a girl she was “ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair” (quote from the blog) I would not consider it age-appropriate at all. Truth be told he would be in deep doo-doo. We are talking deep, deep doo-doo-- Like grounded for a year stuff…no phone, computer, game systems, sleepovers, no fun, etc, for a year. I don’t tolerate it.






I have a similar issue…the difference is that I deal with a lot of boy-on-boy bullying. A lot of times other moms dismiss the bullying because they are “just being boys”. I am sorry -being a boy does not mean bullying other boys, saying hateful things or tormenting another child. If my son says/does mean things to your son I make him apologize. If your son said/did mean things to my son I expect the same. This hardly ever happens. Usually my middle son takes the brunt of the bullying. He is social immature and therefore easier to bully. The thing is – if he was a girl I think the other moms would have problems with what their boy said/did and would make them apologize. How ironic is that?!?

Who doesn't like a good party?!?

The local school superintendent recently announced a change in the public school food policy. Well, it blew up- literally. The local schools (mainly elementary) took the policy and rewrote it or miss-communicated it to their students/parents. It became this HUGE deal - when in reality it isn’t that big of a deal.


The actual policy says

1. Teachers can’t use food/candy as a prize. So when the kid answers the question right they don’t get m&ms or skittles… (Who doesn't like m&ms now and then?!?! :-) )

& 2. The school employees can’t bring in food to feed to the students.

But what came from the above policy was “the classes can’t have parties anymore”.


Nowhere in the policy does it say that!! And this is not a new policy- this policy went into effect in 2005 when my middle son was in 2nd grade. (I remember it because the same “we can’t have parties” was going around.) The school employees are going wild with the no party thing. "Oh we can't have a valentine's day party". Aside from the fact that the policy doesn't say you can't have food or a party---Since when does the word "party" mean "food"? When we were kids a valentine's party was exchanging of cards and maybe a little extra snack. ONE snack- not every kid bringing in a bag of candy or a dessert and sharing it with the other kids…so the kids leave a sugared up mess.


The policy is a good policy! Why do you want the kids sugared up on candy just for answering a question? And what about the kids with food allergies or diabetes? This policy doesn’t hurt anyone and it protects so many. Obviously this policy doesn’t affect my kids now since we homeschool …but what if something happens and I have to put them back in public school? My middle son reacts to red dye and gluten…which are in most candies and easy snack items. If he ever did have to return to public school he would have to have a medical IEP (Individual Education Plan) for his food allergies.

At the end of the day this food policy goes a long way in keeping my child, and many others, safe in a public school environment.

Bet you didn't know I have a son with butterfly powers, now did you?!?!

I just had to share this:

The other day J tells me that God was originally making him to be a butterfly but when I became pregnant God decided that He would give J to me instead...and took almost all the butterfly powers away. I had him repeat this a few times, thinking I had misheard him! LOL
Then I was like "Where do you get this stuff?!?!" Thinking someone (namely big brother) had been putting stories in his head. LOL He said "No one told me it...I just know."
So then I asked him why he thought he use to have butterfly powers. He said “well I am the only one in the family who can curl their tongue like a butterfly so it must be true!” I asked him to show me...He meant curl it so when you look at him his tongue looks like an “o”. Similar to this:

Of course, since he said no one else could do it everyone then had to try- turns out only J and I can curl our tongues “like a butterfly”. LOL

Through all the hard times I will always remember that my son is an original, amazing, creative child. Man, there is no limit to what he can accomplish if he puts his mind to it. :-) I love my butterfly son!

Tagging?

So my son evidently has an issue with “tagging” his name on everything. I guess I should be gratefully he doesn't tag his territory like a dog does!! LOL


Here are some examples:

My bookcase (carved no less!): Guess who will eventually inherit it? LOL

His dresser: (2 separate drawers)

What is up with that? He keeps telling me he isn’t sure why he does it. He also wrote his name in his closet with permanent marker- still haven’t gotten that off, even though I tried stuff that supposedly would take it off (such as that "Eraser" that is suppose to get everything off!).

Anyways, thought I would share my frustration upon finding yet another “tag”! :-)