More Scout stuff

I recently read this and agree.
"We grieve today, not because we are faced with leaving Scouting, but because the Boy Scouts of America has left us. Its leadership has turned it's back on 103 years of abiding by a mission to prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices".

Boy Scout Policy Change

I know this post will probably receive lots of nasty comments but remember these are my views, not yours.

It is a sad day today. The Boy Scouts of America caved to public pressure and money. It is a shame that such a great organization, in which we have become very heavily involved, chose to ignore the wants/views of it’s members and listened instead to the voices of a few and to the threats of withdrawal of money from a few corporations. I wonder what the outcome will be. How many boys/ leaders/ families will leave because of this? I bet more leave due to this decision than join. Locally we had several sponsor organizations, packs, and very involved adults (who if they left would cause some programming to not be available) say that if this was passed they would be leaving the Boy Scouts. I think this will have a bigger fallout then most people think.

My personal feelings are mixed. I was raised in a very conservative religious group. I was taught being homosexual is a sin. When I asked my friends of other religions what their church’s views were, they all told me basically the same thing (no matter what religion)- the church is open to all people, including those who claim to be homosexual. It is not a sin to claim to be homosexual; however it is a sin to act upon it. Who knows- maybe that is what the religion of my youth taught…to me it is one and the same. My religious views may differ from yours but I still believe it is a sin.

When I first heard of the Venturing program I was very excited. I thought it was great that girls were allowed in the Boy Scout program, especially since I know a lot of families who have boys in Boy Scouts but refuse to put their girls in Girl Scouts (due to their changes in policy/views). But the more I learned about the issues within the venturing group the more I don’t support it. There are so many issues that revolve around the fact that you have BOTH boys and girls in the same group. I am sure you can guess those issues without me going into a lot of details. It just isn’t a good combination.  I feel the same with this new policy. It isn’t a good combination.

My upmost concern is for the safety of my children. I fear that changing this policy changes that safety factor. My older son will no longer feel safe. He will have to constantly be on guard. People may say I am over-reacting or being judgmental, etc… but look at the Venturing issues. One of the main issues is the sex factor- flirting, touching, sex. Does gender make a difference? I am being realistic here. If a boy is homosexual…then doesn’t it make sense that if he finds a boy he likes in his Scouting group he will “hit” on him? Just as if a boy is “straight” and finds a girl he likes in his Venturing group he will “hit” on her. Why should my son have to worry about this? At one of the policy information meetings we attended someone stood up in support of this policy and said that we were worrying too much, that most boys already socialized with kids who claimed to be homosexual at school. My response is that is: 1. My son doesn’t go to their house; they don’t come to his. 2. He doesn’t spend time outside of school with them. In other words he doesn’t go camping with them. Now he will be forced to. Yes forced.

I also believe that by passing this policy (yes to homosexual youth, no to homosexual adults) they will be forced to revisit this issue again in the near future…and change it again, this time to include homosexual adults. Because if they say it is ok for youth to be homosexual, what happens when those youth become adults and want to help lead their Troop? Can the Boy Scouts then say “No you cannot become a leader because of your sexual orientation”? I doubt it. So then I will have people, who believe they are homosexuals and who possible will put their views out there, influencing my child. I do not want another adult (who my son will look up to) telling my son that it is ok to be gay when I am telling him it isn’t. Why should my child be exposed to this?

I am sure there will be a group formed because of this policy… just as the American Girls came to be because of the liberal policies of Girl Scouts. The thing is- Boy Scouts was a perfect fit for our family. While I was raised very strict conservative religious with church being the center of my life, my husband was not raised in church. They visited churches but never regularly or enough to make an impact in his life. He does not like churches. He does believe in God but says there is too much politics and money issues in church organizations. So Scouts was perfect: a little bit religious without being overly religious, it didn’t really force religion down your throat but still made you think about it. This is why Royal Rangers or other similar religious groups will not work for our family. The new group will have to be the same basic program for us to be involved. I am not sure that will happen. I think that it will become more religious than what my husband will be willing to deal with, particularly since it will be mainly supported by churches.

I believe this new policy violates the Scout Law and Oath. How can someone do their “duty to God” and be “Reverent” if according to their religion the Boy Scout policy is going against God, the Bible, or their religious teachings?   

While I do teach my children to be kind to all people, I also teach them to stand up for something they believe in…or don’t believe in. So while they can be kind to kids who believe they are homosexual they don’t have to agree with their lifestyle.

How can I continue with an organization that just passed a policy that I believe is wrong? Why must I deny MY “duty to God”? What am I teaching my children if I continue to support a group that goes against my beliefs? I am not sure what our decision as a family will be…it will depend on a few things…the first of which is will our Pack/Troop still be there? Will our sponsored organizations (both churches) continue their support? My oldest is only 6 months away from receiving his Eagle. That would be before the policy goes into effect so he may just get his Eagle and then get out. I also want to see what organization pops up for all those who are leaving Scouts…maybe that group will meet our needs better. Only the future can tell.

 Scout Oath:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

Scout Law:

A Scout is:

• Trustworthy,
• Loyal,
• Helpful,
• Friendly,
• Courteous,
• Kind,
• Obedient,
• Cheerful,
• Thrifty,
• Brave,
• Clean,
• and Reverent.

 

Insurance open season

Someone recently asked me what I think about the new healthcare law and if we have seen any benefits from it yet. My response:


We have already seen some of the "benefits" of O.care. The insurance my hubby’s work offers changed last year to “come into compliance with the new healthcare laws”. Our premiums went up, benefits went down, and they added co-insurance and a deductible that we have to pay along with our normal co-pay. We haven't been able to go to the doc all year for anything other than normal/sick check-ups. J is suppose to see a specialist every year and this year they wanted him to see 2 but at over $350 a pop we just can’t afford it. Next year I don’t have an option- I will have to take him…not sure where we are going to get the money to pay for it though.

Previously I was very happy with our insurance. They covered most everything with us just paying co-pays…and our insurance is accepted most anywhere, so I didn’t need to worry when we traveled or if we were to move. (Unlike in previous years when his work had switched insurance companies and we had to drive 45 minutes to see an “in-network” doc). As of now, I am convinced we haven’t seen the end of the rise in our out-of-pocket expenses, including premiums.

I do like some of the regulations in the law (such as not discriminating against people with “pre-existing” conditions). But it doesn’t help if docs are afraid to officially diagnose anything because they don’t know what is going to happen with the law.

On a side note: It is that insurance “open enrollment” time of year. From the little information the company gave us, it appears the policy didn’t change this year…not good news but at least it didn’t get worse. I was hoping they would change to more of a compromise between the previous year’s insurance to this year’s- so we wouldn’t have to pay so much out of pocket. So now I have to find the over $600 to pay for J’s specialist visits this coming year.

Books and Bullying

So we have had issues with bullying in public school and with “friends” in the past. This hasn’t been a huge problem lately though- Thank goodness!


I came across a book this past week. I read it in 2 days- it was that good! It is The Year of Learning Dangerously by Quinn Cummings. I didn’t agree with everything she said but I love that the author was willing to admit her own shortcomings in her own education and how she felt overwhelmed at times and doubted that she was doing the best for her child by homeschooling her. This is an issue that all homeschool parents have at some point- Am I doing what is best for my child? Anyways- one of the parts that stuck out to me (so much so that I wrote it down!) was her summary on bullying. She is talking about all the questions someone (who she refers to as the interrogator) asks when they find out you homeschool. Here is the quote that I wrote down from pg 24: “‘But,’ the Interrogator might ask, ‘how will these kids learn to deal with bullies and jerks?’ As luck would have it, there are bullies at the Scout meetings, in the mall, on the playground and even at family reunions. There are jerks everywhere you look. Children who homeschool do get to negotiate with socially toxic people. What they don’t get to do is grimly endure an entire year sitting two feet from a person who makes their lives miserable on a regular and predictable basis. It’s not unreasonable to hope that by the time homeschooled children enter the world as adults, they will have acquired the self-possession required to walk away from someone who is belittling them and been spared the recurring nightmares of being trapped in the locker room with the bully.”

This is SO true! I had tried to figure a way to sum up the answer to this question, particularly since we have experienced bullying in various place and not just the public school. I absolutely love this part: “What they don’t get to do is grimly endure an entire year sitting two feet from a person who makes their lives miserable on a regular and predictable basis.” I like that particular part because bullying is one of the reasons I pulled my 2nd son out of public school. Yes he still gets bullied occasionally by “friends” but it is not a consistent thing. He isn’t coming home from everything we do crying that no one likes him, so-so was mean to him, etc. Instead of coming off the bus every other day crying and upset I now have a child who gets upset only occasionally about another child bullying him- maybe once a quarter, instead of every day. And because of the homeschooling community that we are in if he tells me about it when it happens I know I can always make it into a teaching lesson with all the kids involved…and the parents won’t be upset that I “corrected” their child! LOL

Updates

We left the group I was telling you about in the last blog and found another that is very accepting. They are so nice! They keep asking us our opinion on things…and they appreciate and respect what we do say.




I have to say I HATE that my oldest is going to public school! I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But he brings nothing home…literally no homework (except spelling & vocab). All their work is done in class. I have no clue what he is learning. They don’t have textbooks that they are allowed to bring home. They do have copy papers in their binders that they bring home. They do not require assignment books. There is no communication from the teachers to the parents at all. If you have an unorganized child this is setting them up to fail. I finally went in to the school and talked to the teacher in the class he seemed to be having a problem in (low grades for him). Come to find out the reasons he wasn’t doing well was because he was rushing through his work, sloppy writing, incomplete sentences, messy pages, and talking. When she showed me his work I told her I would not have accepted it from him. I would have made him take it back and redo it. She seemed very relieved to have a parent “on her side” (meaning not blaming her) and asked if I could be the parent of a few more of her kids. :-) We worked out a solution to his disorganization problems in her class and she now knows that if she has a problem with him she can just call/email me and I will take care of it. I am happy with the results of our meeting and I actually like her.

What do you do when you feel betrayed?

I have been betrayed by people who were supposedly friends. They have chosen to back stab me and my family. Took everything we have done for them over the last 4 years and threw it away...by going behind our backs to do it. I am so mad and frustrated I don't know what to do. Every time I think about it I get so emotional I just cry.
In the end we will cut our losses and move on but it shouldn't have been this way. We aren't in high school anymore. We are adults. Handle yourselves like adults and be upfront about how you feel. Don't go behind people's backs...So very frustrating. :`-(

Everything should be figured out on Wednesday but either way we are done with this group. We will stay with the organization, just find another group. Why would I stay with this group, even if the majority doesn't agree with the few? Even if the people who are causing the problems step down and no longer are part of the board they would still be there in the group, plotting, hating, turning people against us. It isn't worth it.

The question is how many people within this group will follow us when we leave...there may not be enough left to still be considered a group...

Awesome Friends

I have some awesome friends! If you have read my previous posts then you know my son is gluten-free. This also means that every time he goes anywhere I have to pack food for him. Any event we attend I have to bring food for him. I truly don’t mind as he is my child and it is my responsibility.


So last month our close friend invites us to her child’s birthday party. Of course we are going to attend. So she then asks me where she can buy gluten-free cake, bread, and chips!!! I told her I could bring substitutes but she would hear nothing of it. For the first time since going gluten-free my son attended a birthday party where he didn’t have to bring his own food. This is a HUGE deal to him! He felt so special.

Then this month my other friend (who is sister’s with the above friend) invited us to her child’s birthday party. She made sure my son could eat everything she served and also made him gluten-free cupcakes! For the 2nd time he got to eat everything at a birthday party! He was in heaven. :-)

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE MY KIDS!!! Kelly & Shelly you are awesome! A girl couldn't ask for better, more caring friends.